"Let me know if you need anything." Or "How can I help you?" If you have been following along, you know that my beloved +beautifully/awesomely crazy boyfriend is sick. You can read more about that here. And here.
I am lucky and blessed enough that I get to hear these questions often. I am never sure quite what to say.
The other day, I was giving this some thought. I sure could use some help. This time in our lives has made me understand that I do need TheHumans, and that I cant do everything myself. But what? What would help me, and more importantly, what would help Peter? So I came up with a list in my head. And here it is:
1) Arrange a visit. We are both highly social creatures. And suddenly, we can rarely leave our little loft. We would love you to arrange a time to come by. Or, arrange an outing if Peter is up to it that day. He loves sitting at the river, at Niawanda Park,which is just a couple of blocks from our home. Fishing, picnicking, or just sitting there. Its one of the most beautiful places in the word. If hes not up to that, sit on our front stoop or sit by his bed and just talk to him. Play a game. Tell jokes. His health and spirits go up exponentially when we have a visitor.
2) Offer to run an errand. It seems that every day is an endless sea of errands. Pile that on with doctors' appointments, and it is quite a marathon to get everything we need every day. Whether it is light bulbs, toilet paper, food, batteries, it is always something. Offer to take our list and pick the stuff up. We will give you the $. Its the time we cant spare.
Every day of the week.
3)Call him. Talk to him on the phone. Tell him about your life, ask him about his.
4) And, piggybacking on #3: This is what we figured out that we have been missing most of all. Tell us your stories. Ask us our advice. Your trivial crap about your day. You are wondering whether or not to go on that second date. You are annoyed with your spouse or your coworker. TELL US YOUR CRAP. Nobody tells us anything any more. We want to hear your funny silly stories, your petty little annoyances. Of course, we appreciate people asking about Peter's health. But we need another thing to talk about. Give us your nonsense. We miss the hell out of it.
5) Pray for strength and grace for both of us.
PS: Sign up as an organ donor. Do not tell me that you are not an organ donor and expect a pleasant conversation from me.
I am lucky and blessed enough that I get to hear these questions often. I am never sure quite what to say.
The other day, I was giving this some thought. I sure could use some help. This time in our lives has made me understand that I do need TheHumans, and that I cant do everything myself. But what? What would help me, and more importantly, what would help Peter? So I came up with a list in my head. And here it is:
1) Arrange a visit. We are both highly social creatures. And suddenly, we can rarely leave our little loft. We would love you to arrange a time to come by. Or, arrange an outing if Peter is up to it that day. He loves sitting at the river, at Niawanda Park,which is just a couple of blocks from our home. Fishing, picnicking, or just sitting there. Its one of the most beautiful places in the word. If hes not up to that, sit on our front stoop or sit by his bed and just talk to him. Play a game. Tell jokes. His health and spirits go up exponentially when we have a visitor.
2) Offer to run an errand. It seems that every day is an endless sea of errands. Pile that on with doctors' appointments, and it is quite a marathon to get everything we need every day. Whether it is light bulbs, toilet paper, food, batteries, it is always something. Offer to take our list and pick the stuff up. We will give you the $. Its the time we cant spare.
Every day of the week.
3)Call him. Talk to him on the phone. Tell him about your life, ask him about his.
4) And, piggybacking on #3: This is what we figured out that we have been missing most of all. Tell us your stories. Ask us our advice. Your trivial crap about your day. You are wondering whether or not to go on that second date. You are annoyed with your spouse or your coworker. TELL US YOUR CRAP. Nobody tells us anything any more. We want to hear your funny silly stories, your petty little annoyances. Of course, we appreciate people asking about Peter's health. But we need another thing to talk about. Give us your nonsense. We miss the hell out of it.
5) Pray for strength and grace for both of us.
PS: Sign up as an organ donor. Do not tell me that you are not an organ donor and expect a pleasant conversation from me.
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