It was November of 2014 when Peter and I moved in to Chateau PM, our happy, beautiful lofty little place in the City of Tonawanda. It was one of the coldest winters in recorded history, but we didn't mind that so much. 
We carefully shopped for and curated our little place with items old and new, thrift and antique shopping, and filling in with eclectic little finds along the way. Artwork, furniture, or measuring cups, we picked it our together and found its place in our little home. 
We made great warm and beautiful dinners together. Well, mostly he cooked, and I set a beautiful table, picked the music, and cleaned up. We both felt like we won the lottery as we talked for hours on end about everything and nothing, many times late in to the night. 
On the snowiest nights we would just start walking and see what groovy little places we would find in our charming little neighborhood. Even in the winter, the City Of Tonawanda has some amazing scenic water views. It also has an eclectic mix of restaurants, shops, and lots of fun to be discovered if you only look for it. 
Some nights we might stumble upon and old pub filled with characters, or a great band playing. Some nights we would eat in beautiful restaurants, often getting to know the owners or other diners. 
We would walk home enjoying the softly falling snow and the moon and the water views. Usually holding hands and talking about our experiences of that day or night. 
We had friends over for great parties, brunches, small dinners. We both loved when our friends would play music on our piano and or guitar. A few times we even sat down and jammed (poorly) together. We had a blast. 
When the spring came we planted vegetables and flowers in pots , and got involved in our community garden. We went to hear local and national bands. We went to see show and plays. We had picnics, and rode our bikes to watch the sunset almost every night. Then we would sit on our little stoop porch among the plants and flowers and look up at the stars, sometimes sipping wine and always sharing stories.We talked about books and movies and politics and told the stories or our lives. We made all kinds of plans for the future.  
We enjoyed great times with our family, friends, and even strangers. 
Our home was bright with color and with spirit. We had figured it out. We felt almost like we were getting away with something that others hadnt figured out. We were madly and crazy in love. We thought that we had discovered the secrets of the Universe.  
This is "The Middle," and all I feel like talking about today. There is much more to our story, including our fun and crazy start, our incredibly strong love through all kinds of obstacles we could not have foreseen, and where that led us and what it taught us. 
This is what I felt like thinking about and sharing today. 

My grandmother died a long time ago. A really long time ago. I was blessed with inheriting her beautiful china set. Its a full set and includes dessert dishes and teacups. It is in pink and yellow, and trimmed in gold. I love the idea of my aunts and uncles and all of our extended family having used these beautiful dishes over the years. It makes me feel connected to my grandparents and others who have passed. Family china. It means so much to me. And happens to be in exactly my taste, which is a nice bonus. 
When my grandmother died, I was too young to be hosting any dinners, and until fairly recently, I wasn't much of a cook. The china was packed and stored in my basement in various apartments until I bought my house. "OK. Now I get to use the china!" 
Except I didn't. We kept the good silverware, china, and special glasses put away for just the right occasion. For the fifteen years that I lived in that house, I never used it once. 
Peter came in to my life at the end of my divorce. I was sorting out my house, and I had a big job of downsizing from a four bedroom house to a two bedroom loft. He helped me go through everything and helped me with some difficult decisions about what to keep. So, one night, going through boxes, we came across the china. After ten minutes of me rambling on about how much I loved it and what it meant to me, Peter said, "lets use this tonight for dinner." 
It was like being set free! Out came the crystal glasses, the amazing silverware. A hand-painted water pitcher and glasses from Italy. Flowers and candles on the table. I don't remember what we ate that night, but I remember sitting there thinking, "all of these years. These exquisite things sat in boxes in the dark. " 
We pledged there and then that we would use all of the beautiful things, all of the time. Every day. We make a simple meal beautiful. We don't have to wait for a special Veuve Cliquot night to use the good champagne glasses. Korbel Brut Rose tastes just lovely out of the same glass. We don't wait for lobster or caviar to use the dishes. A nice veggie stir-fry looks and tastes fantastic with the dishes and silver. 
The day that my mother told us that all of these things could go in the dishwasher was like icing on the cake! And you know what, if something breaks, so what. At least it will have been used and loved. And not wrapped in a box in the dark.  
So wear that special dress, carry that special handbag. Even if its just to the movies. Or make an occasion, go to the Giacomo , and order a special glass of wine and look at the spectacular view of the falls. Or take those special plates and a lovely tablecloth and have a beautiful dessert picnic at the park by the water. 
We dont know how many years that we have on this earth,but I can assure you, we will spend them making each day as special as possible. We use the good china. 

I found myself in a full power sprint to make it to my BUF gate in time.  I made it with a few minutes to spare only to find that the flight was delayed.  I amused myself prowling around the shop and found these oh-so-me sunglasses.  I decided to go get some breakfast.

I was enjoying my vegetable omelet when I noticed a sort of handsome grey-haired politician on a full profanity-filled spitting, almost growling rant on his phone.  He was talking about this article:    http://niagara-gazette.com/local/x1533630524/Council-majority-worries-over-influence-of-Buffalo-philanthropic-groups-refuses-to-accept-funds.     I cant say that I blame him for being annoyed with this situation.  He had me laughing so hard with the insults that he was hurling in his description of the situation to the other person on the phone.  Insults so politically incorrect that I don’t feel comfortable putting them in writing.  When he completed his call, he looked up in horror to notice me blatantly staring at him, realizing that I had heard most of his conversation.  I gave him a cheer with my coffee to let him know that I “got it.”  “God Bless America!”I said. I got a nice laugh out of him. I felt like maybe I had lightened up a stressful day a bit for him. I laughed halfway to NYC thinking over his insults and hoping that I remembered them later to share with people I thought would get it.

The time spent with my colleagues and our clients went swimmingly.  This is a substantial purchase from a client that we have been working with for over 10 years.  The clients were excited and extremely happy with their purchase. We were all feeling good about our day. 

My work day ended early and I took a car to the airport with them, laughing and joking about everything from
spittoons to chewing tobacco.  As we pulled in to the airport, our Town Car driver took the time to roll down the
window and yell at a limo driver who he felt was not following procedure making a dropoff.

“You’re a limo driver, you’re a LIMO DRIVER?”
“Yes.”
"NO, you’re a
*expletive!*  A dumb, stupid
*expletive.* “ “You’re no limo driver!”  

We all had a fabulous laugh and hugs all the way around as we went to our separate terminals.  I was alone as I
strolled in to Delta to check in. I was about 3 hours early for my flight, but that was fine with me.  I had a nice
book to read, and I was just thrilled at the success of the day.

 I stopped in to Slip Mahoney's Irish pub and sat quietly sipping a drink,
reading my book and nibbling on an appetizer of an interesting bean-based chili with Fritos lining the middle of the bowl. My quiet time was
short-lived.  In walked a brother and sister worthy of a Saturday Night Live skit. I am guessing that they were in their mid-sixties.  The sister walked right up to a clearly gay twenty something man and put her arm around him. 

“Hey honey, ya got a girlfriend?” 
“Um,no.” 
“Do you want one?”
‘Um, its complicated,” he said.  

 If you know me for five minutes you know that at the sight of this I launched in to a loud laughing fit and made a complete spectacle of myself. 
 
Meanwhile, the brother told me about his various girlfriends and wives over the years, and about what he did and did not want in a mate.  The gay guy scampered off and the sister came over to tell me more about her brother's various ex-wives and girlfriends in alarmingly descriptive yet fascinating detail.  The sister took off in search of another twenty something. I decided it was time to relocate with some coffee.
 

I went over to the gate armed with coffee and my book and sat down for a while.  Shortly I heard the words that every traveler dreads but are somewhat inevitable at LGA: Your flight is delayed two hours.  

I was absolutely determined to find a way to enjoy the time imposed by this delay.  You have probably seen the massage chairs in the middle of the airport.  I was pretty skeptical about whether I could relax enough for this to work straddling a chair in the middle of chaos.I was also fairly skeptical about the skill level of the women doing the massages.  How good could an airport massage be?  The woman was about the size of a large pen. 

She sounded alarmed when she started.
 “Oh my God."
*Long pause……..*
"Oh my God. You NEED this.”  
  
She pulled the tension from my neck, back, arms, hands and head.  She beat the tar out of me.  When she was done I felt fantastic.  I kind of wanted to stay in that chair forever, but I pulled my face out of the donut hole they put it in and got reacquainted with the chaos around me. 

Strolling a bit with my head foggy from the massage, I found that LGA Delta terminal has a new set up in the middle of the gates.  It sort of looks like a sushi bar.  There are Ipads free to use, and you can order food and drinks from those Ipads and pay right there with your credit card.  You can plug in your phone to charge too, all within full view of your gate.  I pulled up a seat.

There was a guy to my right, a young salesman that reminded me of my brother Steve when he was in
 high school.    Kind of like a Ferris Bueller-type character.  Steve is still extremely fun loving, but this guy had the over-the-top humor, gestures, and volume that most of us tone down a bit by the time we reach our thirties.  He asked about my day, and we toasted and celebrated my success. 

To my left was a forty-something guy that reminded me of my brother Steve when he is in work mode. Steve has a pretty serious job, and he is a very formidable and tough negotiator.  I hear this guy to my left on the phone and think, “Ive got high school-college  Steve on my right and Ive got work Steve on my left.”  The guy was an attorney making a deal.I almost felt sorry for whoever he was dealing with on the phone.  When his business call was finished, he wanted to know what the cheering and clinking of glasses was about and joined in. 

“I had a successful day
too.  Its time for a party in this
little corner of LGA,” he said. 
“Work hard play hard,” he added.

 I ordered a really nice glass of wine and some avocado toast.  Avocado toast is bread with smashed avocado, chili flakes, and lot of garlic.  Oh my goodness. Heavenly. We shared stories about our jobs, our towns, our
families. The LGA Delta Ipads at this area have a feature that monitors your flight while you are sitting there. 
We all monitored our flights and were hardly phased when all three of our flights were further delayed. 
We were all having a great time until I heard my name being paged.  It turns out that as fabulous as the
whole Ipad setup is, you really cant count on them to monitor your flight.  I ran off with hurried goodbyes to my
new friends and dashed over to just barely make the flight. I was the last person to sit down.

I was pleasantly suprised that my flight seat mate was a wonderful Canadian woman who happened to be dating someone who lives a block from my house.  Small world! 
She asked me about good places in walking distance. 
 
We exchanged information and agreed to meet at this delightful Tiki bar, at Stockmans on Transit Road some time in the summer.  
 


 

A friend posted this Kurt Vonnegut quote on Facebook today.  I think it pretty much sums up the day.

What is so special about “The Syracuse Girls?”  



I moved to Syracuse for a couple of short years for business.  This was the first time in my life that I had lived outside the Western New York area.  Used to a strong social network of friends and family, I was very much “out there on my own” in a way that I had never experienced.  In the first couple of months, it really didn’t matter all that
much. There was a lot of work to be done.  I needed to focus all of my time and attention there. 

Once I had business things somewhat under control, I joined a nice local gym and started doing the normal business networking type activities.  I was sort of biding my time until I could move back to the Buffalo area. I went on a few dates here and there.  I was unhappy in my apartment and mentioned this to a very nice man, Tom, who I was dating
casually at the time.  “You have to meet my cousin, Bonnie. She is looking for a tenant at her townhouse. She will
also live at the townhouse on weekends too.“  I was completely against any type of roommate situation.  Thank goodness Tom was persistent.  He kept bringing it up, “Just meet her.  You will like each other.  Living situation aside, I absolutely insist that you meet her.”  "OK, Tom, FORTHELOVEOFGOD, I will meet her.'  I wasn’t expecting much.  I even brought my father with me the day that I arranged to meet Bonnie.  

Bonnies on the left, Im in the middle, and Debs on the right.

Five minutes in to our meeting, Bonnie and I left my father behind and took a tour, blabbing away. We were instant friends. I moved in to the townhouse shortly thereafter.  Debbie and Sandy were already close friends of Bonnie, and we formed a pretty formidable gang of four almost immediately.  We were all single, successful if new in our careers, fun-loving adventurous musketeers.  We went to concerts, art shows, went dancing, and went for cocktails.  We had crazy fun adventures and in some cases were lucky to live to tell the stories.

At some point, our business brought me back to Western New York.  I sure missed my friends and family back here, but really hated to leave our very special and unique group of friends in Syracuse behind. But something really amazing happened.  We never lost our friendship.  We never stopped making time for each other.  We never stopped arranging trips or meeting places.  We attended each other’s weddings, special birthdays, and got together just because we missed each other. Over time, Sandy moved a couple of times, eventually settling in Washington DC.  Bonnie moved a few times, eventually settling in Ft Lauderdale Florida. Debbie made a beautiful home in a suburb of Syracuse with her amazing family.   It is pretty easy to lose touch with each other through weddings, moves, and just some pretty big careers. It takes four people to make sure that never happens. 

What is so special about Bonnie?  Bonnie has certainly climbed to the top of her career in the financial industry. 
She has carved out a pretty great life with her husband Bob in Fort Lauderdale.  She sees a way to take her life to the next level and boldly does it. No second guessing, no hesitation. She also never stopped wanting to plan time to laugh, have fun, and just sit around and talk with us.  Bonnie is beautiful, smart and inspiring in the way that she lives her life.  She is also the kind of friend you want on your side when you are feeling less than 100% about yourself
or need help or advice of any kind.  She will look you right in the face and tell you exactly what you need to
hear.

What is so special about Debbie?  Debbie is one of the best mothers I have ever seen.  She adores her
kids and makes sure that they have the best of everything but are kind, down to earth, polite and solid.  They are
lucky to have her as a mom.  She adores her husband too.  Debbie a very talented interior designer and helps businesses plan their furniture and other aspects of design.  With all of this going on, you would wonder whether she would find the time or even have interest in us friends from long ago.  She not only embraces our trips and reunions, she has hosted several of them at her beautiful home.  Not only has she never forgotten how to have fun, she absolutely insists that you do the same.  Debbie is a responsible loving member of society who will never get old and never forget how to have a blast. She also has a pretty great habit of seeing the best in people. 

What is so special about Sandy?  Sandy is a very smart, serious and career minded woman.  Sandy has been very successful in the accounting world. Sandy is also one of the kindest humans that walk the planet.  She is funny,mischievous and smart. You can trust Sandy with your deepest secret and you can trust her to be right there with you when you come with a ridiculous plan to stop at a biker bar or old school lounge.  

You can trust all of these beautiful and smart women to:
1)Pick you up when you are down
2)Make you laugh
3)Laugh at your jokes
4)Make you see the best in yourself
5)Have fun doing anything; or nothing
6)Never impose their agenda on the life that you should have.  They celebrate you
and your life.
7)Answer the phone and bring bail money if you called them at 4AM

In summary, you can take them anywhere.  These women are at home at a symphony board dinner or private club, meeting captains of industry and going to the grungiest of concerts, a diner, a bowling alley or a dive bar.  They are some of the best people this planet has to offer.  They are my honorary sisters and lifelong friends.  I am honored to be among them. Thank you, Tom Greenwood.  You gave me the gift of the friendships of a lifetime in them. 

I went to visit my brother Steve and his family in Chicago.  Steve is a very successful professional.  He is also a blast.  He is kind of like Ferris Bueller in his ability celebrate life, and to find and maximize the fun in any given situation.

Luckily for me, Steve was playing a rare gig with a local band.  It was also Steves birthday.  We went to a little pub down the street from his house and enjoyed listening to him and his friends play.

The place was jammed! We had a great time singing and dancing along with the band.

Here, he hams it up for the camera for his niece Alex who was also visiting.

We watched my adorable badass niece play hockey Sunday morning. She had gone from being rather wobbly to being a formidable little skater indeed.

We had lunch and played Bocce at Pinstripes. You can bowl, play Bocce, eat, drink, and be merry at Pinstripes.  We opted for all of the above. 
Here Steve is pictured with my other niece.  As you can see she is a good sport.  I posed them with the giant corkscrew in front of Pinstripes.  

We had a really great time at this place.  I highly recommend it.

After Bocce I went to watch Steve play hockey.  Steves team won!  I was surprised at the speed and agility of this amateur "fun" league. Then we stopped for margaritas and chitchat with his friend Swany at Santa Fe Restaurant. We had a lot of laughs.

Steve took Monday off.  Steve, his wife Heidi and I had a great lunch at Sweetwater. I had the Wicked Garden. I highly recommend it. Its a yummy mix of grilled veggies.   

Steve had this festive looking beer....

.....and a sandwich called "The Boss."  I tried to bully him in to ordering the "Big Baby" but he was happy with his choice. 

I had a nice dry Rose. 

Steve and Heidi.

We had a few laughs over this questionable table advertisement.

We planned to go ice skating at this wonderful outdoor rink.  The warm weather brought a beautiful day but an ice rink that looked more like a swimming pool.

So we had fun shopping around Michigan Avenue.....

....had fun flirting with this guy......

Picked up this great vintage-looking cuff for $2.99! What a find! I would build a whole outfit around this.

Did lots and lots of walking, seeing the sights and checking out the fashion.  We saw lots of cool fedora hats....

...and patterned lace tights were everywhere. I approve!

We stopped for a quick rest here.  They have beer taps right at your table.  I am not a beer drinker, so I asked the bartender to recommend one of their specialty cocktails.  I tried the strawberry basil martini.  It was delicious.

We popped in to Reckless Records.  Kind of a cool High Fidelity vibe in here.

Walked some more and took in more of the city sights......

...............and then checked out the ROOF at the Wit. Its on the 27th floor.  They have an open air patio section.This was open because of the wonderful warm weather we had  in spite of the fact that it was December in The Windy City! 

The view was really spectacular.

We skipped the Veuve Cliquot Rose and the Dom, but I did gaze longingly at both.  The server thought I wanted his picture. Notice I was focused squarely on the bubbly.

A quick pop in to novo to regroup before the train and we stumbled on to this wonderful professional bartender expertly crafting old-fashioned style cocktails.  I asked for something on the dry side. He suggested the Watermelon.

This was my final pink drink of the day, and let me tell you it was delish.  Watermelon and cucumber. 

Sadly, it was time to hop on the train to Midway Airport. 

But you have to admit, we did manage to jam an awful lot of fun in to a couple of days.  Ferris Bueller has nothing on my brother Steve; and Chicago is my kinda town.