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Day 4: Humor Me

3/4/2017

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​humor me
Going along with something that seems stupid or pointless for the sake of the other person.

Perhaps agreeing with someone just to keep them happy. *from Urban Dictionary
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Please humor me. I am not quite myself yet. It might be confusing to see me some days, so full of life and so genuinely happy. And other days, I am hardly doing a decent impression of myself. The good news is that the good days are coming a lot more frequently. The bad news is that when the bad days come, I full on panic at the depth of my sadness. 
So you'll see me on a good day, with my friends or family, and I'm clearly having a blast. And you'll think, "look at her, she's got this!" Three days later I might be sitting on the floor with my dog crying my eyes out. A couple of days somewhere in the middle will follow. My body and mind fight so hard to get my spirit back. And then when it does, I want to capitalize on that. I want to squeeze out every drop of fun and beauty and light and just, life. I imagine its confusing to watch, as I'm blessed to have a lot of people around me who care about me. 
Humor me.
Sometimes I cant drive very far. Sometimes I can.
Sometimes the idea of a huge crowd sounds like a blast. Other days, that sounds very scary to me.
Sometimes I want to be alone. Sometimes I need people I love, or even strangers around me to escape the thoughts rattling through my head. Sometimes I want to be with people because I feel like myself, and just want to enjoy their company. 
Every once in a while, I cry. Who wouldnt. Hand me a tissue. Dont make a big deal out of it, but dont ignore it either. Most times it only lasts a couple of minutes. 
Come along on my adventures. Join me when Im in the light. Ive never been more eager for fun and adventure. Having something to look forward to is also a huge help. 
Understand when I know something will trigger my grief and set me back. It might not make sense to you. Ive got eight months of this under my belt. I know when something is or is not going to be good for me. And that changes from day to day. And then changes back again. 
Humor me. Stick with me. I need all of you more than ever. 

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