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Happy!

3/6/2013

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Jennifer L. S. Weber
Recently a column was written by Jennifer L. S. Weber, one of my closest friends, about some of the people who inspire her. I was honored to be among those listed. Read the entire column here: http://allthingsjennifer.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/people-who-inspire-me/ As you can see, I was in very good company!

I was even more honored when I read the specific paragraph written about me. Jenny wrote:


 “HAPPY.
I like to post this word as my status from time to time just because, I’m happy.
And when I think of who most personifies the word HAPPY in my life, it is
without a doubt MEESH. This woman brings a ray of sunshine everywhere she goes
and leaves no stone unturned. I truly believe it is impossible to dislike her,
unless you are a mean jealous person who is gloomy and unhappy. Life has bumps
and bruises and sometimes things don’t work out as planned, but even on those
days and moments, Michelle gets through them with a sparkly smile and positive
attitude. I have learned much by watching her professionally as the VP of Denton
Cottier & Daniels, the love she has for her work and music and community
overlaps into the perfect cocktail of success. I aspire to be like my dearest
Meesh not only professionally, if I ever get back out there in the world…but
personally too. She even has inspired me to embrace the love of the color PINK!

”


 
I paused and reflected about this paragraph written by somebody whose opinion I deeply respect, and who knows me well enough to know me very, very well. The fact that she sees me like this makes me think that I am doing something right.  This is exactly how I would hope to behave, and how I would aspire to have the world see me.

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Shortly after Jennifer wrote this post, I got hit with some tough life blows.  Some were new, and some were just an accumulation of some “figurative garbage” finally erupting like a volcano. The kind of things that shake your confidence and make you question who you are.  I wanted to sit down and write about these things.  But then I realized that for me, writing about something, anything, gives it life.  For better or for worse, it extends the life of the experience and the memory.  

Some writers do a wonderful job of writing about painful experiences and
making the reader feel empathy or inspiration that these situations can be overcome, turned around, or left behind. I have discovered that I am not that kind of writer. I am not even that kind of human.


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I am often asked what makes me so relentlessly positive, optimistic, and hopeful through all of life’s ups and downs. Most days I feel that way. Some days I just “act is if,” and before you know it I am feeling strongly and confidently again. 

The answer for me is not to pretend that hurtful things or misunderstandings sorrow and pain never happen.  Shaking them off sometimes takes every drop of determination that I can scrape up.  I live this mostly happy sunny life by making a conscious effort to keep myself happy and sunny.  That is my job alone.  Most days it’s a reflex.  Some days it just is not that easy. Some days it is torture to get myself there. For me, the results are worth the effort. It is
always worth it.



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Here is the recipe that I follow:

Music. Lots and Lots of It. 

 
I actively listen to music. If I am in a bad place, classical orchestral or piano music is the way to go.  You don’t get bogged down in somebody else’s words. If I just need a boost, I will queue up some old songs that have good memories associated with them.  A little gloomy?  Some Bob Marley is always good for an attitude boost. Regular old already-cheery day?  Could be anything.  I like everything from Rockabilly to Alternative to Metal to Country to Opera. I shop every genre on my music player. I do a lot of music lists like, “Makes Me Think of Summer,” “Makes Me Want to Dance,””Beautiful Harmonies,” ”Steamy and Sultry.” I start every workday by creating a playlist to set the tone for my
day.

I go out and hear live music.  All the time.  Lots and lots and lots of it.  I feel inspired by the musicians and the energy of the music.

I play musical instruments. Playing the piano takes full concentration.  The music evokes a mood.  The movement and thought process takes me away from any stress or worry that I might be fighting with in my mind.  I also like playing my bongo drums along with my favorite tunes.  There is something cathartic about banging a drum with my bare hands.

I sing along in my car.  Loudly.  And probably badly.  Who cares, its just me, with the sunroof down once it hits 45 degrees outside. 
 


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Exercise.
 I am lucky to be a lover of many, many kinds of sports including biking, all kinds of skating, weight training, swimming.  I have enjoyed solitary sports and group sports for most of my life. Getting outdoors and getting some fresh air is also good for my soul.


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Dance.  
I have recently rediscovered dance.  I had forgotten how much I love dancing in the many forms that I have tried over the years.  My most recent styles attempted have included country line dancing, tap, and jazz. 
 
I seem to like tap dance most of all.  I start smiling on the drive to class, and I don’t stop smiling through the class, the drive home, the bath,and climbing in to bad on tap night. Ive stumbled on to something very enjoyable and mood elevating for me. 



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Laugh. 
I will seek out books, movies, or occasionally television shows that I know will make me laugh. I love intelligent, well-written humor like a David Sedaris book.  I also dig a good buffoonish Will Ferrell, Jim Carey, or even “Hangover” movie. I loved the stupidity of “Anchor Man.”


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Friends.
I actively seek out people and situations that are fun and positive. My closest friends are a happy bunch.  I don’t mean that they never have any problems.  I mean that they like to have fun.  They like me.  They make me feel good about myself just be being with them.  They are supportive and encouraging.  They also all have killer senses of humor, mischief, and adventure. They don’t spend their lives dwelling on what is wrong with the world or wrong with me.


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This is work?
One of my favorite aspects of my job (dcdpianos.com) is putting together
special events that will elevate musicians early in their career path, or just
needing a boost.  We always combine our events with great music and a charity component that helps a charity or a music organization that needs help. 



I also love that every time I sell someone a piano, I am changing their life. Whether they are a social person or painfully shy and lonely, music will bring something very special in to their lives.  The pianos that we sell will last them a generation and more. Helping others makes me happy.  Music makes me happy.


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Artist Max Collins featured in Spark Magazine.
Write.

I love writing about other people and the positive aspects of their personality, and their positive influence on the planet.  It makes me feel good find the best in people and put that in the spotlight.  I love profiling
talented artists in Spark magazine, and musicians in many other articles over the years. 



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Heat Miser
Warmth.
Being warm.  Literally. This can mean taking a hot bath, cranking up the heat in my car to its highest level, or travel to a warm sunny shore. Warmth seems to give me life.  


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No.
I do my best to actively avoid people and situations that make me feel unhappy, sad, or badly about myself.  
 I dont watch or read  the news if I am in a particularly challenging time. I dont watch war or disease movies. I dont list to music that encourages oramplifies a bad mood or depressed feeling.  I am learning to actively avoid
situations that for whatever reason, suck the life out of me.  This item needs a lot more attention and work than all of the others combined. I am getting better at it.

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Appreciate.

 I am very appreciative of all of the amazing gifts in my every day life. 
I start every day with a prayer of thanks focusing on all of the good.  I pray for something that I might be working towards.  I give thanks at the end of the day for all of the good parts of the day that has passed. My prayers are positive and hopeful. 



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Jay Z brushes the dirt off his shoulder.
Shake it off. 

If something hurts me or offends me, I shake it off.  I try to visualize physically shaking that problem or person off, like brushing some dirt off my shoulder. If some project doesn’t work out the way I planned after lots of hard work, shake it off and I start something new and fresh.  Or I revisit the project in a new way without looking back. 

 Bad behavior by others, hurtful and insensitive behavior, selfishness encountered in the world, in the workplace, among friends, family, even at home. Disappointment, pain, and loss. We all deal with it from time to time. I force myself to shake it off like yesterday’s dust. I forgive the people and situations that caused me pain and move on with my life.   If I keep the person in my life, I dust off their perceived offense and try to forget about it.  In the rare case I need to leave the person behind, I do that as well. I wish no one any ill-will or bad karma. I do my best to leave hurt or disappointment of any kind behind me.   






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Im on the left, Paula on the right. Last years St Pattys Day Parade.
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Seize the day.

I take vacations., I don’t just talk about it.  I see my friends and family. I dress up and go for lovely meals.  I go to the parade and dance on the street with the bands. I wear the costumes.  I do crazy things with my hair.  I’m in for a backyard slip n slide or a game of football. I make every day in to a celebration.  I use the good glasses. I drink the good champagne. I Iight the candles. I buy fresh flowers. I smile at everybody. I keep my eyes out for ways that I can help others. Every day is exactly what I make of it, and my mood is my responsibility.

  



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Me with Jennifer L.S. Weber.
I see the best in other people and in the world.  I dwell in the positive
aspects of life. This is what works for me.  Thank you, Jennifer L.S. Weber for making me see this in myself.

4 Comments
Carolyn Kerr
3/6/2013 07:42:27 am

Lovely article, Michelle. We share many of the same philosophies. BTW, you may be interested in a meetup group specifically for community dance in WNY. It can be found at www.meetup.com/Buffalo-Niagara-Dance-Community.

Reply
Michelle W link
3/7/2013 10:48:13 pm

Carolyn! Thank you so much! It has been so nice getting to know you again. I will check out this link, how very cool!

Reply
Mary Claire
3/7/2013 10:53:58 pm

This article made me happy! Great reminders, I needed to read this today, thank you!

Reply
Amy Morgan link
3/10/2013 10:48:31 am

Michelle,
That's an amazing happiness cocktail! I am not known for my optimism or upbeat outlook so I paid particular attention to what works for you that I have in my life that I could "enhance". Thanks for sharing the happy wisdom!

Reply



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