Kicking the Bucket List

Part of what we do at Denton Cottier and Daniels is give beginning piano lessons to adults.  We started this program a couple of years ago. 
It has been very popular and lots of fun for our clients and for us. It’s
 a great way for them to get started making music and having fun.

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One particular man called the very first time that we put the piano lesson ad in the Buffalo News. He had wanted to take piano lessons his whole life.  He was very excited at the prospect of getting started.  He told me about how he had been thinking about this throughout his life.  He had more questions about the teaching
methods we would be using, the number of students in the class, what the room
looked like, who would be in the class, and what would take place than any other
person who called about these classes.
  
Cheerfully, I explained in full detail what he could expect, the teacher’s background, the store history, and any other concerns he mentioned. He was very interested but wanted to think about it. 
 
He did not sign up for our first session. I kept him on the list to call for the second session.  When the time came to form our second level one class, I called him and asked whether he was ready to get started.  He had more questions, even came in and looked at the book, the room, and we talked extensively about how the class works. 
Still, he wanted to mull it over. 

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This process was repeated about every six weeks over the past couple of years with some variation on the questions. I should probably mention that this man was a semi-retired physician.  He had the time available, and our fee of $99 for 8 weeks of lessons including the book was well within his means.  He spoke wistfully and with great longing about his desire to play the piano. I called him earlier this week to see whether he would like to (finally) start group piano with our new Saturday
 class.  There was a recording at his office, “due to the unexpected death of Dr____, Dr ____ will be taking his patients.”

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My first reaction was disappointment.  This man waited his whole life to take piano lessons.  In the time we spent talking about it, he could have spent the last two years of his life playing and enjoying the piano. The more I thought about it, I felt a bit angry with the guy.  I couldn’t shake it.  I was mad at him for spending his whole life thinking about this and not doing it. 

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All of this got me wondering, what is it that makes some of us jump right in, and others reticent and fearful of new
experiences?  I am convinced that there is a genetic component, but also a learned behavior component of the
decision making process in approaching new experiences.

Growing up I watched my parents’ approach to seeing a new experience that interested them, the time it took to investigate and see whether they were truly interested, and actually doing said
activity.  Here is the process that I saw them use, and have emulated:


 

1)See or hear about some new experience I am potentially
  interested in trying. 

2)Learn a little more about what is involved.

3)Can I afford it? (No? Can I realistically save up for it? )

4) Am I physically capable of doing it? (No? Can I make myself
physically capable of doing it through training or over time?)

5)Can I fit this in to my schedule? (No? Can I adapt my schedule
to make this possible?)

6) All of the above are met? Im doing it.  Im not thinking about it or talking about it. 
Ive probably done it and moved on to something else while others are standing around and doing more research. 

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In the last 10 years of my life alone I have:
Learned to play tennis 
Got my motorcycle license
Learned kickboxing 
Went tubing in my pajamas ( I just threw that in there for fun,
but yes I really did it.)
Ran wine tours
Learned to ski
Learned to ride a horse
Learned photography and had photos in prestigious exhibitions
Traveled extensively
Learned the martial art Krav Maga
Learned to ice skate
Learned to roller skate
Played roller derby
Did the Ride for Roswell
Attempted guitar (Fail. But at least I tried!)
Played bongos (Love!)
Tried yoga (hated it)
Learned country line dancing (fun!)
Tried every ethnicity’s cuisine that I had the opportunity to try
Learned how to fundraise and set fundraising records for two organizations
Learned wheatpasting
Built websites (I had no idea what I was doing. I figured it out as I did it.  Literally.)
Set up 10 Facebook pages for various businesses, including ours
Started a blog
Wrote for magazines and newspapers
Successfully hosted functions I had no experience, and probably no business hosting 
Learned public speaking
Tried my hand at bartending
Changed my hair color at least five times
Helped quite a few musicians get their “first breaks.”
Learned to tapdance (LOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE!!!)

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I came to the conclusion that I won the lottery or hit the jackpot with my parents.  They taught me that you don’t have a long bucket list because you do the stuff.   If you don’t know how,and you really want to
do it, you find someone who does. If I had grown up learning to mull things over ad nauseum, I would have missed out on a lot!

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My mother went to college for Fine Art after we were all grown up.  She got straight As.  Her artwork has won countless awards and been shown in galleries all over the world including the Albright. 

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My father takes risks in our business that men 1/3 of his age would shrink away from. He embraces technology and never gets stuck in an
outdated model of our business. He also finds a way of making the most mundane experience fun, but that’s another story for another day.

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Both of my parents are always ready to learn something new.  Today. That was what I learned growing up and my life is so much richer for it.

Tomorrow might not come! Learn that new thing, travel to that new place.  Do it!  Don’t be a Dr___.  Be a Jim and Georgia Trimper.

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